Thing That I Want to Eat Now and Always: Starbucks Oatmeal Cookie

There's something magical about cookies. 
I can't even begin to explain. They just are so sadoif and even more aosidfha;oih and I when have a good cookie I'm just aosifh;asie. 


Not every cookie is a good cookie. Some are just fake tasting and when I eat it, I just feel cheated. Yes that was a cookie, but was it really a cookie?! This is usually the case with lame chocolate chip cookies, they usually lack texture and the dough is just not doughy enough. 


So we enter the realm of oatmeal cookies. I just asofdihaie;fa. I cannot even aosdif;aoisei.


The chewy texture of oatmeal in a cookie is just like if those tiny giraffes from Direct TV were real and I owned one. (Why are scientists not working on that.)

So I went to Starbucks recently with a friend. I don't drink coffee, but I saw they had a giant oatmeal cookie.

I stared at the cookie for a long time. I vaguely recalled something I said to myself about eating healthy and cutting out fattening foods.


I stare at the cookie more.


Fat people are always happy.


I consulted my inner Asian, do I want to spend $1.50 on a cookie that I can probably make? Do I need immediate satisfaction or can I wait like an evolved human being?


The answers were no I don't want to spend that. I am Asian. But I will, because I am not evolved and when my Id desires cookies, my Ego and Superego are powerless. (I probably didn't use those correctly but I don't really care.)


So I bought the cookie. 


Praise Jesus, it was delicious.


From then on, I periodically make trips to just get a cookie. Other people need caffeine fixes, I need cookie fixes. I rush over to Starbucks, jittery and anxious, so that when I order I don't even form a coherent sentence.

(do you see the background ginger I put in there? I thought it was pretty hilarious. But he's concerned for me so I like him since I'm self-centered also he is a drawing.)

The hipster barista understands, although she is unimpressed as she looks at me through her thick framed apathy. 

You think I care about your hipster standards?! I don't, because oatmeal cookies are involved.

Anger at being judged and anxiety over getting my fix build up. But then she hands me that delicious delicious cookie in that paper Starbucks bag and the world is amazing and I could poop out good will.